Because Where Else Am I Going to Use My Headshots

That’s right, I have headshots.  No, I have never tried to be an actor (outside a few school performances, which did not require headshots).  I had a photographer friend decide to un-retire and he needed some updated work for his portfolio.  No, this isn’t really what I look like, even though these are (sadly) un-Photoshopped.

Anyway, last night I was forced by my choice of friends and social life to watch The Bachelor, in spite of my aversion to reality television.  Bachelor Ben’s buffoon of a personality is one-upped only by his choice of hairstyle (you’re going to part it there?  Like that?  …Her?) but I have to say, I really enjoyed Molly the Model’s antics throughout the episode.  I realize that’s not her name but I can’t remember it and I can’t go back to The Bachelor website, because going there one time inspired this whole guilty pleasure blog post so who knows what going there again might do to my mental momentum.  Anyway, I laughed very loudly at her ridiculous romp around the pool while some poor dear is trying to verbalize her vapid affections (I am on FIRE with the alliterations!) to His Hairness (again!) for the sake of one more  emotionally torrential week of fame whoredom finding tru luv.   I also am should be unhappy to admit that I was pleasantly surprised by Denim Romper Blonde’s childish wail upon realizing Chris Harrison had taken away both of her boyfriends, AKA kicked her off the show for “still having feelings for her ex”.  You double didn’t find love, girlfriend.  It’s time to retire the onesies, put on an outfit someone over 14 1/2 would wear, and get your peroxided locks out of that Panama humidity.  From the way she was shamelessly, drippily weeping into the camera, I could only assume from the previews her family had been used as cocaine mules and then brutally assassinated by South American Guerillas.    Imagine my happy surprise when I found that ungodly noise could be unleashed from a human merely upon finding out there are 2 males in the world who aren’t particularly seduced by her denim sartorial persuasions.  Too easy.

Cut to: INT. Day. Office.  A young underwhelmed employee sits at her computer and reminisces about last night’s television experience.  She Googles the current cast of The Bachelor, curious to learn more about the sampling of her generation willing to beg for a man’s affection in front of millions of viewers.  She reads the bios of the girls she remembers, and some she can’t.  She realizes all of their answers to the question “What are you looking for in a potential partner?” are patently similar.  Her brow furrows in contempt, but quickly settles back into its natural relaxed state of apathy as she realizes, really, in the end, we all want the same things, right?  Upon further self-inspection, however, she realizes that what this particular 21st century female wants might be quite different.  She copies and pastes a sampling of questions into another screen.  She begins to type.

 

Bachelorette Bio: Amy Boyd

Age: 26

Occupation: Sales… Cry

Hometown: Memphis, y’all

Do you consider yourself athletic?
Does ultimate frisbee count?  I played and was not bad in college.  I’d like to try and force a male to say this is a real sport in an effort to win my heart.
 
What is your most embarrassing moment?
I’m so glad you asked!  Because this is something I’ve been wanting to put online.
 
Who is your favorite author?
C. S. Lewis, G. K. Chesterton.  I’m into initials?
 
Do you like to go out dancing? If yes, what is your preferred type of dancing?
No.  Karaoke is my preferred type of dancing.

Do you consider yourself romantic and why?
No.  Because it sounds terrible.

Tattoo Count:
0, but supportive.

What is your ideal mate’s personality like?
Oh you know, what every girl wants I guess – sarcastic, cynical, dark (physically, emotionally, and humor-wise), off-puttingly intelligent and creative, witty, emotionally unavailable but somehow likes to keep me around, extremely wealthy, loves animals.

Call me.

by Amy 

Fancy Dress

I really like Halloween. I like any party combined with a challenge. Flashlight tag for adults? I’m in! Beer Pong Tournament? I will loose, but I am in. A 7 hour game of Risk? Yes, please. What I like about Halloween is that the challenge is subtle. You have to select a costume that is either pop culturally relevant or crowd relevant. If you can do both those things at the same time? Golden.

What I dislike about Halloween is that, as an American, it’s basically your only opportunity to dress up. This means that there are all of these pop culture references that don’t get to become costumes, either because they aren’t timely enough or they aren’t good enough to be your one costume for the year. It’s a tragedy.

All this is to say, did you know ( I assume you did) that in other countries originally settled by England they have costume parties ALL THE TIME? FOR NO REASON? They’re called Fancy Dress parties, they are my dream, and this post is dedicated to them. (Yes we got there!) Here, I will review the costumes I’ve been craving. Let’s soirée!

El Bender de Fass Update:

According to The Sun, Michael Fassbender was asked to leave the after party of A Dangerous Method in London a few nights ago. As The Atlantic Wire puts it, he was “forcing” his costars to waltz with him. This is obviously a fantastic story, especially with the pictures that accompany it.  I also find it super relevant to me.

I Am Ron Swanson.

Today I had the best work lunch experience I believe I have ever had.  This includes my birthday work lunch last year at a mexican restaurant in which I ingested about 3 shots worth of tequila, poured directly from the bottle into my mouth.  In front of multiple coworkers.  At noon.  I took it like a champ and that story is now an office legend.  While that experience did make my afternoon much more pleasant, my lunch today surpassed it.

It was supposed to be a coworker’s birthday lunch at the closest sushi place.  This meant a light lunch and lots of people.  This also meant I was very excited when said coworker had to cancel.  For Christmas, all of us were given $50 gift cards to the grill next door that we are mostly sick of.  It features your usual wraps and burgers and fries.  Originally I had no idea how I was expected to eat there over 5 times to use up the card, but then it dawned on me.  There is a lunch filet.  And I love a lunch filet.

I think in a previous life I was a T-Rex of some sort.  I have no upper body strength and it reduces me to internal tears to see a hunk of meat grilled within an inch of its life.  The term “well done” should be banned as blashphemy and crimes against nature.  The closer I can get to mimicking a lioness taking that first fresh muscle-ripping bite of deerflesh, the happier I am.  Blood and all.

The combination of the absence of people and the prospect of steak got me through the morning.  I’ve been reading Clash of Kings (and loving it, by the way; King in the North!  Or maybe Blood of the Dragon is more appropriate here…).  I always have it with me at work in case I’m blessed with the time and ability to take an hour alone for lunch and read.  I also prefer to eat lunch at 1:30pm – I can’t stand eating in the morning, and the later you wait for lunch, the faster the afternoon goes by. 

At 1:25pm I grabbed my book, made change from a crisp $20 bill on my way out, walked to the grill, and proudly declared “It’s just me!  I’d love a booth” to the hostess.  I ordered the filet, RARE, damnit, before the waitress had even finished trying to explain the soup of the day.  It came with a side of broccolini.  I had never even heard of this before, because I try and avoid green things as they are generally not fit for human consumption.  Broccoli being an exception, I decided to risk this one.  It was slathered in garlic butter and therefore delicious.  I also got a diet coke instead of water, because it was epic lunch day.  I almost ordered a beer, but I didn’t want to overdo it.  And diet coke is refreshing.

I read and ate for 45 glorious minutes.  The wait staff attempted to take my plate prematurely no less than 3 times before I polished off every last edible element on it, like I knew I would.  I then unabashedly paid with my gift card, left a generous tip, and decided to use the last 15 minutes of my lunch hour to purchase a delicious Starbucks beverage for dessert.  I walked down Beale Street and smiled at the Duke Silver vibes eminating from the different blues joints I passed.  One gaudy peddler shouted “WANNA BUY A WRISTBAND?!” at me, followed by “You don’t have to ignore me…” to which I outwardly smiled, and inwardly replied, I Know.

I had planned to buy my usual 90cal skinny vanilla latte, but today was not a day for skinny.  Today was a day for Caramel Machiattio, replete with Leslie Knope levels of whip cream.  Because there were too many people on Beale, I happily took a deserted alley to avoid walking back down it again.  I met a stray dog on the way and made friends.  Because animals love me.

Now, my machiatto is gone and I’m having to go back to my normal life of productive work and conversations with other humans and open doors.  But that lunch hour was LITERALLY the greatest lunch hour I have EVER experienced… in my professional life.

by Amy

Does Liking Breaking Bad Excuse Me from Watching The Wire?

Well does it?  I carry around a lot of guilt over this. 

Maybe guilt is the wrong term.  I did try to watch it.  I’ve never liked cop shows (I’m more of a medical drama person – love me some SFX guts and diseases-as-allegories*) and the 5 episodes of The Wire I dragged myself through were no exception.  I found myself saying “oh WHINE - everyone’s got problems!” to every character except Bubbles, who almost kept me watching the show.  This was about 3 years ago.  No character gave me a reason to care about him or her in that timeframe.  I don’t need a character to be Good per se, although a show willing to have an unapologetically good character always receives major kudos from me – the Eddard Starks or Doctor Whos of the world, if you will.  But I couldn’t even find anything interesting about any of them.  Oh, surprise, you’re a lesbian.  Oh, you’re an alcoholic having a weird affair who appears to hate your life.  The nap I just took was wilder than the time I spent watching the show, and I’m not even including my crazy dream, in which I walked down the sidewalk.  And then woke up.

I think everyone’s extreme love for the show has made me really angry at it.  I can’t decide if I actually would, in fact, like it if I forced myself to watch it all, or if I just won’t ever “get it.”  I despise and reject the notion that I’m incapable of getting something, but you know what?  I don’t have to like cop/criminal stories to have good taste.  I proffer Breaking Bad as the better of the two shows because the writing has the ability to vascilate smoothly between sinister and hilarious, and the character chemistry (har) is both immediately interesting and deep enough to support 4+ seasons.  An alcoholic cop chasing a drug ring?  Obvious.  A Nobel prize winner turned high school chemistry teacher turned meth cook with a former student dropout?  SIGN ME UP. 

Look, I get witty things.  I love Community.  I love Arrested Development.  I read Bossypants.  Yeah, that’s right, I read stuff too!  See?  I’m not a part of the unwashed masses who can’t wait for Contraband to come out and are TiVo-ing Whitney so their husbands can watch WWE RAW live.  Get mad at the fans of Fast Five for disliking The Wire, or the paying supporters of that Nicholas Cage movie where his head is a flaming skull (which, coincidentally, I think makes for a fabulous visual metaphor of his acting abilities).  I’m not adding to the production of bad art here – I’m just trying to justify differing tastes.  Mostly for my own mental well-being. 

It’s rare that I don’t get into something that (tasteful) friends and favorite reviewers love.  The only other example I can think of is LOST.  But even this one is different than The Wire – I know if I had really stuck with LOST from season 1 and not tried to jump in seasons 3 and 5 randomly, I would have enjoyed it.  But now my head’s full of too many spoilers and too many sporadic viewings to truly enjoy it if I tried again.  Maybe one day I will, but it’s not in the forseeable future.  But I watch Fringe!  Religiously!  I’ve seen every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, the Doctor Who reboot, Battlestar Galactica, AND The X Files including both movies!  I’m even pushing through Once Upon A Time, miserable as it is, to support fantasy network shows from your blasted LOST creators!  What more do you want from me?!  What’s it going to take to make you happy, damnit!?!?  Stop yelling!!  I want a cookie!

Look. 

I don’t want to say The Wire is a bad show.  I just want it to be OK that it wasn’t for me, and for that not to completely discredit my entire critical opinion.  In the drama department I’m going to stick to my Breaking Bad and my Downton Abbey and my Fringe (Please don’t let it be cancelled!  PLEASE).  Mayyyybe I’ll branch out into Friday Night Lights.  But it will be awhile before I try to watch McSkulky again.

by Amy

*Irrelevent side note: I have watched House sporadically since it first aired, and never in order.  When I understood it was supposed to be a take on Sherlock Holmes, my first reaction was “Oh! Wilson DOES sound like Watson!  Hehe!  I bet Cuddy is supposed to be Irene Adler too!”  Aren’t I quick?  It wasn’t until over this Christmas that I realized House=Holmes.  Durr.  And it took seeing Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows AND re-watching Sherlock the TV series for me to realize that the Moriarty of House is death itself, by disease.  Clever!  Horrifyingly slow on the uptake, but pretty satisfying (if delayed) realizations. 

I’m still not watching The Wire.

Peace Horse

As a proud Auburn grad, I am no stranger to the “War Eagle” salutation that pays homage to our game day mascot.  We scream this battle cry at each kickoff, but every so often some clever contrarian starts to shout “PEACE EAGLE!”  Hence the title.

My family saw this movie on Christmas Day, as is the Boyd family tradition, and commented that the movie was written for me.  After my mother said she was surprised there wasn’t any nudity, which was especially jarring if you know my mother, and didn’t know she had it confused with Equus.  I don’t even know how she knows about Equus.  Anyway, horses are  my favorite thing in the world, and all the period garb and Anglo accents I could ask for were happily sprinkled throughout.  Spielberg was even kind enough to throw in Benedict Cumberbatch for me, as if I needed another reason to see this movie.

For the most part, I agree with Keith Phipps’ review of the flick as I do with most of the things he writes (his Doctor Who recaps are my favorite).  As he points out, Joey the horse is a symbol of a better world than the war-ridden one he finds himself in, and a reminder of home and what keeps us humane in inhumane circumstances.  He is a creature intended for peace; built to run away from danger, and our battles forged by the hands of man force the beast to defy its nature and charge into the fray.  Though as Joey charges in, he also leads us out.  I was reminded of my favorite part in my favorite book in the Chronicles of Narnia, where we find our heroes trapped underground and under a witch’s spell (where else?).  The enchantment has caused them to forget that there ever was a sun or a sky, or anything other than the witch’s buried lair.  Yet through his despair, the character Puddleglum refuses to be defeated:

“Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things–trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself.  Suppose we have.  Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones.  Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world.  Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one.  And that’s a funny thing when you come to think of it.  We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right.  But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow.  That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world.  I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it.  I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.”  -Puddleglum, The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis

Joey is the symbol of the world above the cave (if you’ll allow me to mix my Plato with my Lewis); the reminder that there was light before the darkness and a Narnia above the ground, and it’s worth fighting for and returning to.  We fight the war because we were made for peace and home and companionship, and we defend these things to return to where we belong while refusing to allow the dehumanizing curse of the battleground to defeat or define us.

I’m tempted to end the review there because it would make such a tidy post, but to be perfectly fair there are a few things preventing me from giving it an A.  I give it a B because I think it becomes contrived at times.  Spielberg has such a prominent signature style that some parts feel robotic.  Maybe it’s because his style is so familiar, and maybe it’s because the main character is a mute animal instead of a creature who can speak (please don’t misunderstand – I’m glad he doesn’t speak), but scenes like Albie and Joey’s reunion were a bit mechanical and less organic than, say, Elliot’s goodbye to E.T.  It relied heavily on score and scenery to convey the horse’s thoughts and journey and I suppose that can’t be helped, but it can start to feel a little manipulative after awhile.  That’s not to say both weren’t beautiful and appreciated; just rote.  That’s also not to say there weren’t truly moving moments.  I love the scene where the British and German soldiers work together to free Joey from the barbed wire, and when he instructs his equine friend how to take a harness for the German tank-pulls. 

All in all, it’s a beautiful movie with a theme to match, and I don’t think you could ask for much more on Christmas.  Expectations for Spielberg will always be high, and even on his worst day I suspect I’ll still thoroughly enjoy his work. War Horse is no exception.

by Amy

Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Sex Addict

Did une petite Shame/Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy double feature the other night. Here are my thoughts.

Shame:

I thought about this film a lot before seeing it. Not so much whether or not I should or wanted to see it, but what the over all effect of the film was going to be after the fact. I kept on trying to anticipate how I was going to feel and what I was going to think as I left the theater. Director Steve McQueen’s first film, Hunger, is astoundingly good. It’s oddly structured and completely engrossing. Today, I can still remember the initial effect of that film quite clearly. It left an impression, and I wanted the same thing to happen here. Well, honestly, I was nervous that the same thing would happen because whatever it was, I imagined that the impression of a sex addict is less darkly satisfying than that of a freedom fighter. But whatever, I wanted the depression impression not the disgusting impression and that’s that. Since Shame is only McQueen’s second film it’s hard to anticipate what of Hunger was his oeuvre and what was not. But I felt certain that whatever McQueen served up, it would be powerful and possibly damaging to my psyche.

The best way for me to describe this film is that it is fully formed. At no point does it appear overwrought, underdeveloped, or forced. It all feels full. The early scenes of sex addict Brandon’s (Michael Fassbender) character drop you into the monotony of his life. You see him in his addiction and somehow McQueen’s lens is physiological in its view of him. It’s not sympathetic nor it’s not judgmental. He’s so intimate with Brandon but without creating lyrical empathy.

Full disclosure (eye roll):

This movie is really graphic. But somehow, and I really do mean somehow because I have NO clue how, Steve McQueen gets the tone just right- throughout the film and in each individual scene. You would think at some point he would have to sacrifice tone to make a point, or sacrifice the fullness of the story to make a point. There’s some line out there between this movie being gross, gratuitous and deeply uncomfortable and it being authentic and affective. I don’t know how but McQueen found that line and then strutted down it. He walked. That. Line.

Oh my gosh this movie is so sad. So, so sad. It’s not a meet a man with a problem, watch him realize he has a problem, watch him work to overcome his problem kind of a movie. It’s not even that with an indie ambiguous ending that we all know is just an indie ambiguous ending but really they’ll be ok. No, it’s a true-to-life human is broken, now he recognizes his brokenness and can’t begin to do the work to fix himself kind of story. I think everyone can relate to this on some level. You get in a behavioral rut, you know you should be doing something more or less than you are, you confront that knowledge about yourself and then you just kind of go to bed and hope that bad habit is gone in the morning. Or if you live in New York you walk these streets for a startling length of time. (Amy, what’s your record in blocks?) There’s this scene in the final moment of the movie in which Brandon is surrounded by the false pleasure of pleasure bought. Seeking feeling in it’s most sensual, Fassbender’s face is at once dead and in full recognition of that death. In that moment, you don’t think “Geeze I’m glad I’m not with my mom right now.” You are totally full of compassion for this lost cause. It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen on screen.

Final Musings:

• If there were one thing in this movie I would change it would be the scene in which Brandon’s sister Sissy sings “New York, New York” with all the deeep sadness this place is marked with… and it goes on forever. In the end, Brandon cries. I would like the song to be cut by probably a minute, but I forgive McQueen because if you are going to make a person as emotionally stunted as Brandon cry through song, you’ve probably got to let him work his way up to it.
• I don’t know what it is about Carey Mulligan’s performance in this movie, but she did convince me that she is going to be an awesome, pitch perfect Daisy.
• Is Brandon born in Ireland so that Fassbender doesn’t have to fully shed his accent or to make him other? What do you think?
• Gay club scene- I think it’s legitimate and not offensive or trite as David Edelstein over at NYMag would have you believe, but I’m not getting into it here.
• If you are uncomfortable seeing this movie, go see Hunger. It’s amazing and it will allow you to respond at Holiday parties, “No, I haven’t seen Shame but I did just watch Hunger.” And everyone will nod.

Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy:

I think we can all recognize that going into a double feature on a sleep deprived week may not be completely fair to the second film. But it happened. As you are now too bored to read a similarly exhaustive post on the 1970s spy caper, I’ll keep it brief. This film falls in the “British Faces, British Places” category and thus would have to work really hard for me not to enjoy. Everyone gives great performances (John Hurt as grumpy British man, Toby Jones as conniving British man, Cirian Hinds as ominous British man, Tom Hardy as rakishly handsome British man, and Colin Firth as bless my stars you’re handsome British man) but we’ll narrow it down to two.

Gary Oldman gives a fantastic, subtle performance as the aging spy. This Old English Gentleman© is well outside the manic persona usually found in Oldman’s wheelhouse. He’s calculating and calm and his British folds go swimming in an outdoor gentlemen’s club (British kind. Not American kind) to clear his head and give the appearance of routine. He’s collected and sure as he susses out the mole. I guess that’s what you want when someone (who?) has betrayed their country to the Russians- nerves of steel. It’s all a pleasure to watch

Benedict Cummmpvlersi. Can we talk about him? I know this is the year of the Fassling (Gosbender? You choose) and I have loved it, but can we all take a moment to recognize. Bumberwhatsit has rocked it this year. Sherlock? Warhorse? Tinker, Tailer, Soldier, Spy? Please, at this rate I’ll be able to pronounce his name in time to shout it at The Hobbit premier next year. I liken him, and hold on to your hats here, to Johnny Depp. … Sit down, sit down. I’m not saying that he is on the same level as Mr. Depp, I’m saying they’ve got some stylistic similarities. Depp brings individuals to life as opposed to impersonating them. But no matter what there’s a Depp energy that seeps through the seams. This isn’t a criticism; he manages to direct that energy in service of the story or character he’s inhabiting. Benedict has the same gift. He marks each character with distinct but wonderfully Cummbundian wild flowing energy that I totally dig.

As a film, I’m so, so on it. I was also so, so tired. My main complaint is that in a “who done it” it’s probably preferable to be emotionally invested in who done it, and I just didn’t. I barely knew the difference between the British Faces, let alone cared when the culprit was revealed. That’s a problem. Stylistically, the movie is stunning. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was totally intoxicated with its own pedigree. It’s based on the greatest spy novel of all time, or so I hear. It’s got all the British Faces. The production design is top shelf. Everything. It’s not like people didn’t show up and commit, it’s as if the director Thomas Alfredson approached the project with an air of “yeah, we got this.” It irked.

Loose Cannons:

• There are some pretty great America FTW moments, which I, patriot of patriots, loved. Gosh, anytime the Brits feel little next to us I glow with pride. Weird for an Anglophile, non?
• Amy and I should probably do an Oldman retrospective.
• I think the choice between Fassling and Gosbender says something about how you relate to men. Trust.
• Has anyone given thought to Tom Hardy just being unintelligible in general?
• I miss MI-5.

Year End Playlist

This was what Google Image gave me for “Holiday Cheer.”  Enjoy it – it is the symbol of my gift to you. 

You won’t see much in the way of music from me, so I hope very much that I’m not giving you the impression I consider myself any sort of authority on the subject.  That said, I was listening to ”The King is Dead” by the Decembrists and noticed that it has an ode to January and June, which reminded me of “January Wedding” by the Avett Brothers, and got me thinking that I might be able to put together a fun little month-themed year end album of my own.  The only rule I gave myself was that I had to use songs that were already in my iTunes library – I couldn’t purchase anything.  This was more due to limited funds than limited creativity (are we seeing a monetary year-end trend in Amy’s life?).  If I was fancy I’d figure out how to Spotify this to you but alas, I am not.  So you get Youtubes.  Enjoy the tour – I took a bit of license in some places, but I think you’ll find I could have done a lot worse.

1. Not Your Year – The Weepies/Say I Am You

So it’s not the most optimistic way to start an album.  But I like this song, and it’s winter, so I feel that perky year-end reviews are for warmer climates.   …Don’t overthink it.

 

2. January Wedding – The Avett Brothers/I and Love and You

The January songs have a special place in my heart, since it is my month of birth.  Hint hint.

 

3. January Hymn – The Decembrists/The King Is Dead

I couldn’t decide between this one and the last one, so you get both.  You’re welcome.

 

4. February Song – Josh Groban/Awake

Did I lose your respect for me?  Bet you didn’t see this one coming.  Unless you know me, which I suppose all of you do.  Whatever, Josh Groban is wonderful.

 

5. Marching Bands of Manhattan – Death Cab for Cutie/Plans

See what I did there?  Love me some puns.  Look – I’ll even do it again…

 

6. Ants Marching – Dave Matthews Band/Under the Table and Dreaming

If I didn’t lose you at Josh, I bet Dave did it.  Take these chanceeessssss!

 

7. Rain – Patty Griffin/1000 Kisses

The best I could do for April was to bring some April Showers to the mix, but I don’t need much of an excuse to include Patty.

 

8. Over the Rainbow – Ingrid Michaelson/Be OK

Thought this was a nice transition from April to May.  I love Ingrid’s version.

 

9. Month of May – Arcade Fire/The Suburbs

No brainer, really.

 

10. June June – Aaron Roche/Travel

Yes it’s about a girl and not a month, but it’s less of a stretch than the others.

 

11. June Hymn – The Decembrists/The King Is Dead

Is it cheating to use two songs from the same album?  It is what inspired the playlist.  I promise not to use them for December.  Too obvious. 

 

12. Christmas In July – Sufjan Stevens/Songs for Christmas

It works because I’m making this for Christmas.  Ish.

 

13. St. Augustine – Band of Horses/Everything All the Time

Even more of a stretch than “June June,” but that makes me like it even more?  I’d like to think that if I gave this mix to someone with just the song titles, without the theme, songs like this might help throw them off.  Not sure why that’s my goal.  Stop asking questions.

 

14. Dog Days Are Over – Florence + the Machine/Lungs

Appropriate end to the month of August, wouldn’t you say?  Plus the playlist needed a tempo boost.

 

15. September – Earth, Wind & Fire/I Am

Obviously.

 

16. October Road – James Taylor/October Road

I almost did the Monster Mash, but I feel JT (no, not that one) needed some airtime.  I could only find a live version on the Youtubes though.

 

17. Winter Birds – Ray Lamontagne/Gossip in the Grain

Lovely transition into the wintertime, to make up for the lack of an explicitly November-themed song.

 

18. A Long December – Counting Crows/Recovering the Satellites

Obligatory. 

Hope you enjoyed.  Would love to hear anyone else’s suggestions.

by Amy

What To Do When Your TV Shows Aren’t Showing

I made it sound like the shows are weirdly pregnant, but I can’t think of a good maternity joke for you.  Sorry.

Since most TV schedules are in their midseason break, I find myself fridging the Instant Netflix queue constantly (you know – you’re bored, you open the fridge, nothing strikes your fancy, so you close it, sit down for a minute, realize you’re still bored, and open the fridge again, same things are there but you hope new inspiration strikes?  Go with it, I like my new verb).  Being Human UK struck my fancy – I fell in love with Aidan Turner’s hair and Irish accent, and now have yet another reason to be wildly excited about The Hobbit (as if I needed another one).  I also fell in love with Russell Tovey’s everything – I was repeatedly blown away by his performance.  I had watched the US version of the show when it first came out with little to no knowledge of the original, and found I hated it.  Originally I chalked it up to bad writing, but after seeing Being Human UK I think I am going to give bad casting some credit too.  I dunno, maybe I’m just missing Aidan’s long hair.  Neither are going to win any Emmys, but there is a soul to the UK incarnation that’s seriously lacking in it’s US caricature.

Anyway [SPOILER ALERT] some serious, integral eye candy bites the dust (har, har) at the end of its most recent season so I’m just not sure I can continue watching.  Besides, I’ve run out of episodes, so now I need something new.  In case you are curious, the shows I have been keeping up with are (in the order they pop into my brain, loosely based on their weekly schedule): Once Upon a Time, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Up All Night, Modern Family, 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, Community (SAVE GREENDALE!), Sherlock, Downton Abbey, Doctor Who, and Fringe.  I don’t do reality TV, for the record.  I’ve been known to be forced into watching Bachelor-related things with friends, but, let’s be clear - it’s for the friends.  The only reality television exception I make occasionally is What Not To Wear because Stacy and Clinton are demigods, and I can’t resist a good makeover.

Anyway, Below are the things I am considering, in no coherent order whatsoever:

HOMELAND

This is a show that really wasn’t on my radar until my Twitter feeds started getting really chatty about it, and now I’m intrigued.  I tend not to notice spy game/political plots if it isn’t set in the year 5014 or doesn’t lead to space aliens (it’s just who I am), but I have been known to get hooked on 24 (thank you Mary Lynn Rajskub and the SFX team) and Spooks (thank you Richard Armitage and surprise favorite Hermione Norris) in the past.  Since my affection for those two shows is largely performance-driven, the praise of Claire Danes and Damian Lewis turned my head.  What’s up with the backwards E?  What does it meeeean?

 GAME OF THRONES

The only reason I haven’t watched this yet is because I don’t have HBO.  This is proving to be a problem.  I need to see Sean Bean gruffly wielding a sword, and figure out who the blonde-haired girl is because she looks cool.  Well done Wardrobe/HMU.  IMDB tells me her name is Daenerys, and I am all for a vaguely gaelic vowel mashup in a heroine moniker.   I’d name my cat Eowyn or Ismene if I thought I could get away with it, but I eventually decided that pushed me from “oh no, she’s a cat person” to “possible Wiccan.”  Should I read the books?  Does that make the show better or worse?

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

This is a show I’ve been meaning to watch for ages, and I really don’t have any excuses because it’s on Instant.  I suppose, like political thrillers (and cop stories, urgh) I just haven’t jumped on the bandwagon because there is no magic, and I am someone who needs The Magic.  For the straight stuff, it can be implicit magic – in a performance (see: Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock, Richard Armitage in North & South), in a writing style (Dan Harmon FTW, or, just being honest here, Jane Austen and her incarnations) in a world (see: Mad Men, among its other fabulous qualities), or by simply being Breaking Bad.  But the explicit magic of a world, creature or superhuman catches my eye immediately and gives me the extra push to stick with a mediocre show (like Once Upon a Time) or pick up a new and untested show right away (like Being Human US or American Horror Story) even when it doesn’t end up being something I can stomach later.  But, I digress.  Enough close friends have told me I will enjoy FNL for me to jump on it.  Especially since there are a sizeable five seasons to keep me occupied, and it won’t add to my list of  currently airing shows, which is about to get out of control if I’m not careful.

BOARDWALK EMPIRE

Yet another availability issue here, but not as urgent as Game of Thrones.  This is a show where the Magic lies in the world, and I won’t lie – I’m intrigued by Steve Buscemi.  I’ve heard less than earth-shattering reviews mostly, so this may or may not make it to a screen near me, since again, HBO is the hardest network to watch shows on for free.  It’s just a fact of my budget.  Anyone interested in sponsoring a show for me to watch can contact assistant@amycboydinc.com .  Anyone interested in an assistant position can… comment below.  I will pay you in hugs.  No, let’s be real.  I can pay you in acerbic remarks, and the occasional Starbucks bonus for really good suggestions.

IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA

I’ve only seen a couple of episodes and I was rolling even without understanding most of what was going on.  The amount of episodes I need to catch up on is overwhelming though, and I’m afraid of the Comedy Burnout Factor (CBF © ) that happened to me with How I Met Your Mother.  It was my Christmas Break 2010 TV show lull solution and I fell in love with the cast (NPH FTW!  Jason Segel!  Freaks & Geeks warm fuzzies!  Alyson Hannigan is adorable!).  So much so that I watched all 5 seasons within some frighteningly embarrassing time period, like a week and a half.  I’m not sure any human can withstand that much Barney Stinson (legendary as he is) combined with Ted’s rather nettering personality across a concentrated period like that.  I was so excited to be caught up when season 6 rolled around, but found I just wasn’t interested in watching it every week.  I didn’t even notice when Season 7 arrived.  I was over saturated.  And I don’t want to do that to It’s Always Sunny, because it’s unfair.

DEXTER (Seasons 4.5 – Present)

I have always loved Dexter, and the only thing that prevented me from finishing season 4 was limited accessibility.  Can’t it just be on Instant Netflix or Free Hulu?  Please?  …Please?  Mixing TV shows with my Netflix movie discs really puts a cramp in my style.  Pacing is so important for show gorging, and if I do discs I always end up keeping one CD for months which clogs up the film queue.  It may be one of the reasons I gave up on The Wire.  Yeah yeah yeah it’s amazing I know.  I’m over it.  Anyway, I have always enjoyed me some Dexter Morgan and maybe the Holidays are a perfect time to stop the movie queue in lieu of some quality time with everyone’s favorite serial killer.  The John Lithgow parts were just getting good right before I quit (over a year ago…)  Con: I know what happens at the end of that season, which doesn’t prevent me from wanting to watch it, but it does diminish my motivation.

Anyone seen any of these, or have other suggestions?  Don’t say LOST or The Wire.  I haven’t watched either and I just don’t think I have the emotional energy to.  I’ve tried, with both.  I really have.  I’ve failed.  Yes, I understand this reflects poorly on my tastes and not those shows.   I’m also seriously lacking in comedy options, but I’m not sure I trust the newer comedies yet and I do fear the CBF.   Although at this point I could be talked into most anything.  I’m about to have a lot of Holiday free time.

by Amy

SagNoms

Ok, real quick… Screen Actors Guild Nominations. I’m not going to get into them.. I just got to say a thing real, real quick. Best Actors.

George Clooney, The Descendants
Demian Bichir, A Better Life 
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar 
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brad Pitt, Moneyball 

Donde esta El Bender de Fass? Donde?

I love Leonardo DiCaprio. Love him.  I think, and I say this without even a drop of irony, that he is a genius. I think that he is a genius who exists on a plane of being that you and I don’t even comprehend. Seriously, that’s my opinion of him. Blake Lively and all. But J. Edgar? no. Not his fault, but no.

Now Michael Fassbender in Shame. There are some moments in his performance when I thought his character might commit suicide by his own anguish. Like, that the hopelessness inside of him will just kill him for him. And he conveys that extreme self disgust without any pity all in his face. It’s the saddest face I’ve ever seen.

So no, I do not accept this.

(I could write a post that the success of one actor and the failure of the other has a lot to do with the director in this instance.)

-by Clara